This Is A Hard Day

Today, May 3, is exactly 4 years since I found my mom dead.

This my friends, is not a good day for me.
It's so strange how when I think about the scenario, I can literally feel all of those emotions over again.
See, my mom was my absolute best friend.
And I never thought in a million years that I would have lost her when I was 22.
She was supposed to be here for all my major life events.
We were going to take a vacation to the West.
She was going to be the best grandmother ever.
She was just supposed to be here.
But God had other plans.
4 years ago, she died peacefully in her sleep from what we think was a heart attack. At age 48.
Too young.
I know that I'm not supposed to question God, and I don't.
I just know that there's a gaping hole in my life and I really feel like I've never been the same since that day 4 years ago.
She fell asleep reading her bible that night. What a way to go.
I miss her so much. It's really amazing how many times a day I think about her.
I really miss her hugs.
And her smile.
And her laugh.
And her love.
And everything else about the wonderful woman she was.