The Weigh Things Are Going

so let's chat for a minute about the weight loss yo-yo game.
story of my life.
me and weight watchers....well we're not reall working out.
the points thing is such a flipping roller coaster for my brain.
let me have a moment of brutal honesty here -
last week i seriously had an ugly-face crying break down over food.
now honestly, food shouldn't have that kind of hold on me. and do you know what sent me over the edge? the freaking lack of white cheese dip here in texas. my georgia peeps will understand...it is the epitomy of mexican food in georgia. and here in texas, this stinking close to the border, there is absolutely no cheese dip.
well a few places have it, but it's not the same at all.
so take me whining because i can't have my white cheese nachos which completely spiraled into crying phrases (that were barely understandable) of things like
"i'm soooo hungry"
or
"weight watchers won't let me eat"
or this is my favorite
"why can't i just eat and not be fat?! or why can't i be fat and just not care?!"
it wasn't pretty folks.
poor, poor chris had no clue how to handle such a basket case.
he just held me and let me boo-hoo and said "honey, i don't think weight watchers is working for you."
at which point i wanted to respond in obscenities....and i may have.
i don't remember much about it, if that tells you how distraught i was over the flipping cheese dip.
i digress.
so i decided that i would go back to the lower carb, higher protein way of life because that's where i've had the most amazing results.
i just wish for a day when this struggle isn't a part of my every day...i'm sure i'll get that right about the time there's world peace.
last night i was looking through some old emails looking for a picture of the first time i met my neice. i had wanted to include it in yesterday's post.
and while i didn't find that one, i did find this masterpiece.

this picture was in february of 2010 at my brother's wedding.
hideous. gah-ross!
first of all, who decides its ok to make plus sized clothing in such unflattering prints.
sadly, i thought i looked real cute in this here zebra monstrousity.
my face is so fat you can barely see my facial features!
don't worry, i'm not self loathing.
i'm so thankful that i ran across this picture at this time.

that picture has reminded me of just how far i've come.
my size 20 dress to this here cutie in a large shirt.
i'm reminded of my promise to never go back there again.


so all of that to offer a little encouragement to any of you that may be struggling.
i've learned that this will be something i always struggle with and have to work towards.
it's my weakness.
but i can look at these two pictures and see that i have made and am making progress.
and even when i look in the mirror now and have some major ugly thoughts that go through my head, i can say that i'm not where i want to be, but i'm a heck of a lot further along than i was.
i guess this was god's way of giving me a little nudge to keep up with the fight.
Romans 5:3-4
"we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."