today i woke up with a burning desire to be productive. so far so good. got up, got out of my pjs, washed my face and loaded up with some feel good mood boosting oils. this is a big deal y'all. :) then i needed a little bit of Jesus time. one of my most favorite songs is called "it is well" by bethel. it's been on repeat for lots of different reasons.
it is well - video here
"seas that are shaken and stirred can be calmed and broken for my regard. through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You. through it all, through it all, it is well. far be it from me to not believe, even when my eyes can't see. And this mountain that's in front of me will be thrown into the midst of the sea. so let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name."
because sometimes this infertility thing is just more than i can handle. but here's the thing...all God has to do is speak and the mountains crumble. the key is knowing He can, whether or not he chooses to do so. he can bring me a baby, but it doesn't mean that he will. and quite frankly, the journey of learning to want his plan more than my own has been both horrendous and beautiful all at the same time.
his way is well with me. because at the end of it all, i want to know that i lived every ounce of the life HE planned for me and not the one i planned for myself. His ways are always better in the end. because honestly, if i've lived this life only for my desires, then really, i've missed the whole point and prize.