I'm a walking contradiction.

I'm convinced that all of us have that thorn in the side that Paul talks about in the bible. we all struggle with something. mine always has been and forever will be my weight, i'm sure of it. i feel like now, more than ever, i truly understand Romans 7:15-20 :

"i don't really understand myself, for i want to do what is right, but i don't do it. instead, i do what i hate."

for instance, i know that everything that enters my mouth will affect me in one way or another; either positively or negatively. unfortunately, the things i LOVE to put in my mouth, are the things that have the worst repercussions on my body.

my body and i have been fighting my whole life. that's 31 years if you're counting. and here's the sad truth...i KNOW what works well for me, but i just can't seem to do it. i know that fresh, unprocessed foods give me energy, regulate my periods and let the pounds just fall right off. but everything in me craves nasty processed bread and desserts. it's a daily battle y'all. and sometimes, i just get tired of fighting and go on a binge of bread. there's a reason i don't buy the stuff - i work at home, so i keep my pantry healthy. but another problem i run into is i just won't eat if i'm at home because i don't want that "healthy" stuff. i also have a couple of health conditions that make this weight balance thing about 3 times harder than a normal person. do you see my troubles?

i'm not stupid, so i'm surely not going to try and fix this before the holidays. that would just be plain torture. but come january, well i'm excited (and no, this is not a resolution). i'm excited about this new found love of essential oils and i'm excited about putting more pure things in my body than fake. i'm strongly considering doing a whole 30 challenge to jump start the process. anyone want to join me? i'm doing it with a group, so there will be options to share recipes and encourage one another.

i've also been reading this pretty little gem called "eat pretty". it's basically all about how what you eat affects your skin and how all the beauty products in the world will never help if you're not giving your body what it needs from an internal level.

eat pretty