Right now I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something fantastic and awesome....I just can't see it.
So it would require me to take a huge leap of faith.
And I'm willing to jump.
I just don't know when, where, what, who, etc, etc!
This is scary stuff folks!
I'm definitely going through a lot of growing pains, but over the past few years I have just been searching and searching for what God wants me to do. And now, more than ever, I am passionate about something that I want to do. It kind of feels like it's being dangled over my head and my hands aren't quite close enough to reach it. But it's definitely closer.
And it's definitely exciting.
There's a lot of nurturing my heart needs before jumping, I am sad to say. And I can add that to the list of things I don't know how to get! I was reading Meg's blog yesterday, and I could relate so much with her! Needing connection. I am in desperate need of some deep relationships and connecting. Don't get me wrong, I have fabulous friends. But we all seem to get busy with life and then those friendships become very surface level. I need lots and lots of depth right now. I'm not sure what I expect to happen out of that, but I just feel that I need it.
I need to get issues straightened out with my dad too. He's so stubborn and defensive about everything and he completely misses the point. We pretty much haven't spoken since Father's Day. I've deemed myself parentless. I guess I just thought he would have tried harder once my mom died. I think it's gotten worse. So, somehow, I need this to work itself out too.
I just feel like I need to get a few things straightened out before "jumping". So, maybe I'll take this holiday season to work on me.
Gosh that sounds so selfish.
But I need it. I need to work on me.
Well, this blog just went a completely different direction than I was going, but oh well.
My friends, it is Friday! And that is super exciting!
Enjoy your weekend!