blurred lines

ok, ok, ok. i haven't given a baby update in quite some time. well.

last week i sent chris for his re-test. a couple of days later the doctor called with the results. there was no change in the numbers and the way he sees it, IVF is our only option for pregnancy. It's a bit of a double whammy with both of us having issues.

my immediate response was "ok, let's move forward with adoption."

however, chris does not feel the same excitement for that as i do. ultimately, when we get ready to adopt some day, we both have to be on the same page, and right now we're just not.

you know, it's funny. for almost 10 years we've said that IVF is where we draw the line. but you know what i'm learning? the line gets real gray and real blurry when you're right up against it.

and so, as the story continues, we're praying through it.

clarity.

guidance.

direction.

God is able. I believe that with everything in me. I refuse to lose hope. I refuse to let a diagnosis take me back to the pits. I will take one step at a time; one day at a time. God's on my side; failure is not part of His character, so it shouldn't be a part of mine.